Authenticity, inclusion, belonging — these have all been common themes in recent discussions of workplace culture. Ideally, your workplace will be somewhere you can “be yourself” and find acceptance without having to change in order to “fit in.”
And to a point, this is a worthwhile endeavor. But there are times when it’s better to go beyond “being yourself” in order to improve the workplace culture or your personal success in your work.
One of those times is when you have what I’ll call “intimidating defaults.”
As an example, Michael Hyatt shares an account of a staff meeting he was leading. He had invited his executive coach to attend and give him feedback. That feedback included a question, “Are you angry?” Michael replied that no, he wasn’t angry at all. The coach replied, “Well, you may want to tell your face.” Michael Hyatt’s default face appeared angry. It was an intimidating default. Improving his success as a leader meant consciously brightening his face with a smile in a way that did not feel natural for him.
Other intimidating defaults aren’t so easy to change directly. I recall hearing of a salesman who was rather tall and imposing. He discovered that his natural physical size intimidated people and impeded his sales efforts. He learned that he could compensate by deliberately dropping his papers, apologizing, and then picking them up again before beginning his sales presentation.
Perhaps you have a strident voice, a visible scar, or any of a number of other physical characteristics that seem to get in the way of your success. Is it something that, like Michael Hyatt’s angry face, you’re willing and able to change? If not, what might you do to compensate for its likely effects?
As you advance in your career, discovering and overcoming or compensating for these intimidating defaults will increasingly be your responsibility. If you aren’t aware that you have any, consider doing what Michael Hyatt did and ask a trusted friend, advisor or coach what they observe.
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