“Gossip” is what I like to call a Humpty Dumpty word. In Lewis Carroll’s classic story Through the Looking Glass, Humpty Dumpty tells Alice “When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.” I tend, then, to interpret anything negative said about me as “gossip.” Anything negative I say about someone else, though, is merely “constructive criticism” or a “necessary caution.”
I’ve seen a few attempts to create clarity around what constitutes gossip.
- anything negative about another person to anyone who isn’t part of the solution
- anything negative about another person said without them present
- anything negative said about another person, unless it’s true
But regardless of how you try to constrain it, gossip is negative speech about someone.
But I don’t think it’s important to delineate concrete bounds to define gossip when thinking about the workplace. On the other hand, I do think it’s important to consider the role negative speech in general has in your workplace.
Gossip is a symptom. Negative speech in the workplace is like pain or bleeding is in the body. When you hear it or read it, let it trigger an honest search for root cause. You may find a deep organizational issue that needs to be addressed. Or you may find simply an overactive personal “immune response.” As a leader, you’ll want to honestly evaluate your role and your organization’s role in any triggers, while also working to alleviate the negative effects of the gossip itself. Relieve the pain; stop the bleeding. But don’t punish it.
Recognize also that negative speech is one tool a group uses to self-regulate and encourage conformity to established norms and cultural expectations. Those cultural behavioral norms can have value; they can also perpetuate harmful biases that exclude people and rob the company of innovative perspectives. Be open to both possibilities.
Most importantly, as a leader, model your desired behavior when it comes to pointing out flaws. Focus on fixable, work-related issues, not ingrained personal traits. And prefer private conversations designed to correct problems rather than simply joining others’ complaints in order to feel as though you belong.
Gossip in the workplace can be a tricky subject. But if you can model the behavior you want to see, and then treat gossip as the symptom that it is, you can work toward creating a healthier work environment.
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