Stop Struggling to do What You Should (Understand Value-Driven vs. Empowering Behaviors)

Musing for:

Stop Struggling to do What You Should

“I know I should, but I can’t bring myself to do it.”

Whatever that is, if “should” is your reason for doing it, it’ll always be hard. But I’ll show you how to stop struggling to do what you “should.”

The first step is to recognize the difference between “value-driven” and “empowering” behaviors.

👉 Value-Driven Behaviors are the things you do that naturally feel fulfilling. They resonate with who you are or who you feel called to become. You would want to do these things even if you didn’t get paid for them. You might even pay for the opportunity. They may be things you feel compelled to do even if you’re not doing them yet.

👉 Empowering Behaviors are things you choose to do because they make your value-driven behaviors possible. They may be examples of, contributors to, or prerequisites for your value-driven behaviors. They reflect your chosen strategy more than they reflect your values. These are your methods, and they may change or be changed over time.

There are a couple other types of behaviors you might find yourself doing:

⛔ Perceived-Duty Behaviors are things you do only because you think you should. They neither reflect nor empower your personal values. These may be based on expectations of a culture or environment that doesn’t reflect your personal calling. They may also have once been empowering behaviors for a strategy that has since changed.

⛔ Destructive Behaviors are things you do to find some kind of short-term pleasure or relief, even though they may interfere with your empowering or value-driven behaviors.

If you’re struggling to do something you believe you should, then it’s probably an Empowering Behavior or a Perceived-Duty Behavior. To find out which, try to identify which of your Value-Driven Behaviors or other Empowering Behaviors it supports.

If the behavior does not reflect or empower your personal values, then it’s possible that it’s no longer something you “should” do. Stop doing it, and you’ll stop struggling.

If the behavior supports another Empowering Behavior, then find the Value-Driven Behavior that is ultimately supported by those Empowering Behaviors. Instead of seeing the duty that you “should” do, put your attention on the fulfillment that lies ahead of you when you reach the value that your behavior empowers.

If you’re having trouble finding your Value-Driven Behaviors, you may be a candidate for one of my coaching programs. Visit to find out with no obligation.

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